| (no subject) |
[Dec. 21st, 2006|04:31 am] |
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I hate EVERYTHING now! It wasn't suppose to change! I know this is for the better but I don't think i can live without him. I wanted him to be here for everything maybe im selfish but i need him. im so confused cause i know he has to go and make his life better, i want him to have the world he deserves it, hes been through so much and has soo little to show it. He really is one of the best people i know, people think hes just a big asshole but they dont know HIM! He had a soft side and caring part but everyone sees him just as the jackass that says anything. I want him for me is that sooo wrong to want him and never give him up? Why can't things just work out for once with out making thing sooo complicated? |
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| Slap Anthrax on a tampax!! |
[Sep. 20th, 2006|07:28 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | antrax on the tampax! | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | basement! | ] |
| [ | 2 be or not to be..... |
| |  heheh im amused! | ] |
| [ | Da Mosic I'm lis'en to Hoe!!!(I'm so ghetto hehe) |
| | Ur mom moaning! | ] |
So University the big bad monster that almost every average 17 year old teen named Cathy-Lee Anne Ormerod is deathly afraid of. Lectures, seminars, exams and textbook, everything has a new name, new funtion and cost 5 times more, nothing is like highschool no matter how much they try to prepare us WE ARE ALL DOOMED!!!! We will spend 10 years studing one book, 5 months writing an english paper and 50 million days looking for a room that doesnt even exist! Well maybe not as bad as i make it sound but remeber im a drama student! I'm just scared cause its all so new and im afriad to just jump in and experience all that it has to offer, Im like that fat kid that just keeps dipping their big toe in the pool. But I finally did Imeet a whole bunch of people still getting use the them and im talking and taking notes and learning and all that Jazz but today (my short day) I walked out the front doors to see fire men, police, ambulences and men in lil white suits!! Cameras were everywhere and the buzz of students could be heard!! So I over heared one girl say they had a bomb! Another said a shooter came in and killed 6 kids in the library! Another said it was Anthrax and so many more so finally i made it to my bus stop but wait......... hoiw could the bus get in with all the truck!!! NOOOOOOOOO!!! Yeah thats right the only thing crossing my mind was how the hell am i gonna get home i dont want to be here anymore!!! 12 hours on monday, 11 yesterday today was short why must these stupid turcks be there?? anywho found my stop got on the bus and tehn we all compared stories and came to the conclusion it had to o been an anthrax scared and 6 poepl were being treated not shot!! And when i got home found the real story a mail man found a package with death threats and a white powder inside so they called it in and the 12th fllor was closed off and no one was hurt!!!! Sooo that was Exciting!!! Oh and on Friday I got into a car accident!!! my sister rear eneding a women!!! I only hurt my neck and shoulder!!! My nephew was not even upsat wuith the crash only when the cop walked up to the car he said "He's not gonna give us a ticket is he??" And then wendy had to get in the cop car to write a statment and he said "Is the police man taking mommy away now?" Oh kids say the darnest things!!! Anywho pecae out DoubeTown!!!!
Cathy!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2006|03:30 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | clubbin'!! | ] |
| [ | 2 be or not to be..... |
| | i'm still a lil tipsy!! | ] |
| [ | Da Mosic I'm lis'en to Hoe!!!(I'm so ghetto hehe) |
| | tyechno!! | ] |
ok so i will tell you of the last two nites and whjat wonderful nites they have been! Well fri nite... im sitting ion my couch watching memories of a gasha!!! then i hear a ring of the bell well it happenes to be Kathy and Melissa!!! So we start out on a journey for clifton hill and on the way we pick a leaf, meet a crazy happy garbage man and kids that swim in a fountaun plus almost slip then we stop ihn at nathans and buty a slushie!!! ok but we didnt have spoons so i steal them from starbucks and run like hell!!!! then we make fun of garbage mnan and almost pee our pants then on clifton hill we go to Boston pizza and eat some nasty bread and i have like a couple drinks!!!! so then we wonmder the hill and i buiy a hatr and we head home... but then we pass a smoke shop and i buy a cigar and the guy is hitt8ing on me!!! funny yes!!! then we go to lite off our sparklers and an american askes for one we give himit and he throiughs it in teh water mean old man!!!! then I go home!!! SO then the next day (Sat) we were gonna go back to rthe hill but I was suppose to babysit so my aunt unlce and sisters could go see Sam Roberts but my aunt and unlce got in a huge fight and didnt endup going so my sisters took me!! We went into the casino i won $20 on the 5 cent machines and $5 on the $1 machones then we went and weatched Sam, roberts fun!!! but we wnated more so we went to the hard rock club but it was briong so we ventured on to <artigras and we partied till 3 am!!!! This tall white guy was dancing with me and then the arab guy came up on me and the thias chineasses guy was liek damn your a loty of womern and i like so we were dancing!!!! and i meet this bold guy i kisse dhim and then david and yea i like it i felt want6ed and like i cant wait to do it again!! I just feel bad about Kathy and M<elissa we were suppose to hang out but then iut go cancelled cause and then i went with my sisters which was funb and bery dangerous!!!! DON DON DON!!!!! Buty anywho!! Peace out homeslices!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2006|02:18 am] |
ok this is how i feel...
I feel in adiquit(if tahts how its spelt)
Lonely
Sad
worth nothing
Mean while i know im not maybe im just to
picky
needy
pathtic
I know all i need is
SOMEONE TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED BACK!
to hold me
to kiss me on the tip of my nose
tell me im beautiful
hold my hand and say your the one
MAYBE THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN FOR ME MAYBE I'M
destoned to never be loved
never be known
never be cared about
I SEE LOVE AND I SPIT ON IT.
I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED
love
like
fancy
I WILL FELL LIKE
i dont compare to others
don't fit in
I WILL FOREVER BE COMPARED TO
Penny for her looks
Wendy for her brains
Becki for her charm
Ryan for his witt
WILL ANYONE REMEMBER ME 50 YEARS DOWN THE ROAD?
Will he EVER notice me or will i forever be another contact on his friends list? |
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| Im done! |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|12:40 am] |
Ok so its offical I have my OSSD, i got the princpales honour roll, silver medalion and Ontario Solar award!!!And I begin the real world in Sept at Brock university for theatre and Soemthing... nolt sure.. Im soo scared! University is a huge step, I dont believe im smart enough nor ready for University!!!! A week ago i was but now i just cant but my mind around it!!!! EEEKKKKK im scared i just wanna go hide in a hole!!! Alright im gone im going to hide in a whole.... hopefully other university bound students are in there sop i can make some friends!!! Anywho update... Prom fucking rocked and the hotel party was amazing grad was interesting... long boring but good i guess!!! Went to a ball hockey game got in a fight with 12 year olds called my sister a whale and yeah meet up with my cousin hes growing sooo big now!! Well peace out homeslices gotta go to bed working in the morning which i hate and want to quite but the $ is beautiful!!!
PEace
Cathy
P.S. I dont know if you know this but im kind of a big deal.... people know me and im a student at Brock UNIVERSITY!!! |
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| Happy again! |
[Jun. 2nd, 2006|11:50 pm] |
Ok so maybe im by polar or i just get over things fast but im alright now! I can't wait for prom I going with Cory and Allie and Huber and his date, Emily and her date and maybe Ryan!!! Then to the after party a huge hotel party half the people going to prom are satying at this hotel and we gonna party like its 1999 hold up its past! Yeah and man i thought it would be weird going to school today all alone but it was sooo simple i talked to everyone with out a care in the world. So yeah im excited for prom!! Limos and hotels and now i cant wait fro Becki's prom next weekend~!!!!!! Man Peace out homies im exiting now!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 31st, 2006|10:27 pm] |
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I cant take it i dont have a way of letting out all of my angry so it sits in me till something happens and i just want it to be let out but i cant cry, i cant draw or write songs like some people i can let it out i want to punch something or just die sometimes i think that it will just be over! Now dont take that as a suicide treat! I have to let it out! 2 years ago my grandpa died on May 26 and i didnt get to say how much i loved him and i miss him soooo much and the last year on May 23 my Grandma died I hadnty seen her in 8 years, everytime i would walk in the mall or on the street and saw an older women i would think to myself is that her, i would look her uop in the ophone book but i always sai when im oplder ill get in touch and i didnt care about the family situation she was my nana and i loved her but she died and i never got to see her and then now May 28 Ozzie dies!!! I never got to go to camp or see him this year and when i think about it we will never have what we use to have and i cant stand to think about how slowily every one around me will die, what happend if my dad happens to be next or my other grandpa as much as i hate him will i be able to say how much i love him or what i wantyed from him as a grandpa will i ever get approval from him will my children know there aunts or their grandfather and then the next question will i eve have a person to have children with? I just wish you could look into the future and see if life is worth living i dont want to die all alone in a one bedroom house with a family that hates me. My mom talks to one of my aunts what about the other 5 siblings will we even know when they die hell it took Allie calling me Mon at 5pm for me to figure it out and i didnt eve know if it was real! When you get on teh phone your happy and normal but then the news is told and your stomach drops! I didnt belive her. And then you try to comprehend it but i dontr think i will until i go to camp and i dont see my Grandpa! And then Oonce you think you have dealt with death something happens like a friend beinga complete bitch... if you read this FINE I FUCKING CARE!!!!! she dioesnt talk to you and when you ask why shes angry "no Cathy im fine im not angry at all" I wasnt asking if you were fucking angry i asked why? and then you try and atlk to her after you think shes being bitchy she thinks your bitchy and she ignores you when you try to talk it out! Wow i cant stand how much you get angry one minute your happya nd then the next your BAM BItch! So i think im going through the stages i was in denial then i was cryinga nd now im overly pissed off where i could write Kathy a letter and sever all relations but i think i wont because i dont want to screw up this even tough right now uim sure shes deleting me from her top 8 and msn but you know what FUCK friends ive been screwed over so much i fucking hate everyone. Everyone is twofaced and out for themselves. I contradict everything i say but to me it makes ooo much sense. Im fucking done im going for a walk and i dont think i wanna come back im done fuck frinds fuck school fuck everyuthiung that has to do with fucking humans!!!!@ |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 25th, 2006|10:20 pm] |
Alright Live journal world!!! I havent talked to you in for EVER!!!!!! So here we go sad news first... didnt make canadian Idol!!! sucks i know! Um am still going to Brock University.... dont have a date fro my prom yet.... am still a loser..... um cant really think of anything really important but wait!!! The MOST IMPORTANT thing in the WHOLE WORLD!!!!! Ozzie is sick in the hospital with cancer!!!!!! Becki told me and i was almost cry'en!!! I kept it in bec i was on the phone but oh my i love my grandpa what would summer camp be without my wonderful grandpa Ozzie!! I dont know!!! Alright its hard but moving on to the happy news um I went to Chicago had an amazing time!!! Some funny shit happened and some bitchy shit happened but whatcha gunna do hoes? ALright so ya Im going to Becki's Prom with Becki!! We get to get our make up done and i get to miss more school!!! I missed that last two days bec i was sick my nose keeps running and i cant catch it!!!!! um what else is good news Ryan is turning 18 in less then a month!!!! PARTY!!!!! Um well shits happening but i dont want to nor do i want to heheheheheheheh i said that twice!!!! Well Peace out Mr. I want to computer now is here and he must have the computer bec when he sits behind me that means get off i should take my time....... and i will!!! Ta ta for now!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 20th, 2006|11:05 pm] |
Alrighty then I havent updated in like a month almost!!! So heres the deal!! WEll Im working again saweet i know I love money!!! Um this weekend Canadian Idol!! So Ive come to the conclusion I will sing aint no mountain high enough fist then Travelin soldier and then for the real judges Ill sing aint no mountain again!!!!!!! Well I wanted to do things I was comfortable with and knew I could fuck up so there it is!!! Today my sister made me sing outside to practice and then this guy came out and started sing and telling me how he liked my sond and how it was unique but not to off the wall and how ppl would like my soulful style!!!! and he knows cause hes in a band!!!!! that was said sarcasitly!!!!!! yeah so im excited this weekedn and then next weekedn i go shopping in the states and then Carly comes down and then work and work and may 24 and then work and then Windsor for Ryans 18th birthday and then work then Prom Graduation and the LONGPOINT@@@@@ Im sooo excited!!! oh yeah and then university!!!!! Well anywho peace out home dogs Love ya!!!
Cathy! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 3rd, 2006|06:20 pm] |
Alright so I haven't "really" updated in here for a while now! So I can't remember whats happened lately!!! Um ohh this weekend was the first weekend in over 3 months where i wasn't drunk!!! SO i think thats ok!!! but this weekend coming up is goinna make up for it all!!!! So um oh my sister is moving out of the house to an apartment in Wellend... thats for the dirty ppl!!! Its not we just say it is!!! so this weekend we helped her moved.. oh we had some beers but you didnt get drunk but back to my life! Um so I love the weather up to today! It was sooo nice i was outside ALL day yesterday and i got a tan on my face!! steller!!!!!! Today when I was walking home from school I said hey guys look at the sky its gonna down pour Emily lights up a joint and it started pouring!! thats what she gets!!!! Well Im not smoking anymore bec i dont want my voice to get fucked!!! ryan tries saying that aerosmith and ACDC smoke and still sing but he doesnt understand "singing" and "Screminging" Thats singing and screaming! So oh I have an audition on sat for the Musical made movie "Hairspray" with John Travolta and Queen Latifia- Both huge idols of mine!!!! ummm and then when i get the part bec im sooooooo amazing ill throw a huge party and pay for everyone to come and rent a hotel!!!! yeah and party like its 1999 hold up it its past!!!! hehhehehehh no but yeah im excited for Sat I go to the audition, then put the down payment on the cottage and then to my beautiful babe in Windsor BECKI!!!!!! and I get to see everyone!!! Ohhh I can't wait oohhh its her 18th bday to all who dont know!
Im getting her, her present and i make myself laugh me and ryan have put a lot of thought into this gift i hope she likes it!!!! ummmm... Oh and then on sun i have to go back to Toronto for my call back which ill know ill get!!!! cause im amazing! Oh and then if Maybe i dont wanna take the role cause im way too busy(we all know ill get it, Its already got my name on it) or some girls cring and liek i wanna be Tracy Turnbald and since im such an amazing person and can get anything else Ill go for Canadian IDOL on April 22!!!!! But anywho!!!! back to my walk home It started pouring and we got SOAKED so Emily came inand we dried our clothes and ate french fries and played life!!!! and then me and emily fuicked on the bed but you know ryan being a party pooper came in and said to stop it so we had to stop!!! sad face!!! lol!!! oohhh good times pretend fucking!!! Anywho Peace out home dogs!!! and See ya soon!!! I loev saying that when i actually mean... SEE YA!!!!!!! hehehehheheh love ya all!!!!! |
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gimpstir4life's journal
with life
its coming up sooo fast!
happy but SAD!